A Single Tear
by xoxalicexox
Summary: Set directly after ep on 15thOct when Dr tells bad news. SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE WHO HAVENT SEEN EPISODE! Story focuses on Aaron's guilt and Angst and Jackson's suffering... CHAPTER 13 IS UP NOW FOLKS!
1. Chapter 1

A/N – Set directly after Friday's episode, with the doctor just having revealed the bad news….. SPOILER ALERT for those who haven't yet seen it…. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

"_Jackson may never walk again…"_

It was one of those movie moments, the world just stopped. The words hit like a lead weight. Hazel's mouth dropped as she stared helplessly at the doctor. Jerry slumped back against a wall unable to control his emotions. Paddy sat down in one of the couches and placed his head in his hands.

A single tear fell down Aaron's cheek.

Hazel regained composure first…."P…P…Paralysed?"

The doctor merely nodded sympathetically, "I will give you a few minutes…." She added, before quietly leaving the family room.

Nobody spoke, the silence was suffocating, Aaron moved into the corner of the room and slid down the wall until he was crouched on the floor, hugging his knees. Paddy stood up and moved cautiously over to him, placing a paternal arm around his heaving shoulders.

"He'll be okay…." Paddy whispered, however a scoff from the opposite side of the room made everybody jump…..

"You heard the doctor, he's paralysed…. And its all YOUR fault…" Jerry hissed, emphasising his hated for Aaron.

"Hold on a mi…." Paddy started, but Aaron shrugged him away and stood up quickly

"He's right though….." Aaron whispered, "Tell Jackson I'm sorry…" he added as another tear escaped from his big blue eyes. Aaron headed for the door.

"Aaron…" Hazel pleaded… "He needs you"

Aaron turned back towards Hazel and looked deep into his eyes and shook his head…. "no he doesn't….." and with a parting glance at Paddy, Aaron walked out the family room…. Out of the hospital….. Out of Jackson's life….

Back home Aaron lay curled up in a ball on his bed, the bed he shared with Jackson for so long, the longing for those days to return was unbearable, as was the pain of knowing that would never happen.

A knock on the bedroom door startled Aaron out of his daydream….

"Aaron… you in here mate?" Adam queried.

"Go away…..I'm not the mood" Aaron replied.

"That is exactly why I'm here" Adam said pushing open the bedroom door.

Adam sat on the end of Aaron's bed and placed a friendly, reassuring hand on Aaron's leg, "I want you to talk to me mate…."

"What's the point? It's gonna change nowt…." Aaron scoffed.

"Jackson needs you mate, now more than ever… and I think you need him….."

Aaron sat bolt upright and hugged onto his pilled tightly….

"How can I ever look him in the eye, He's paralysed because of me, his life is over because of me….."

A single tear ran down Aaron's cheek.

"You don't know that for certain mate…..what was the first thing Jackson asked for when he came round?... You….you know he loves you, and I think you know damn well that he needs you right now…"

Aaron turned on to his other side so his back was facing Adam, keen for the conversation to be over.

Adam patted Aaron's shoulder, "I'm here for you mate…..but please think about what I said….." he added, before leaving Aaron to his own thoughts.

Aaron turned over on his bed what felt like the hundredth time that night and had a quick glance at his clock….

02.36, _Shit, _Aaron thought to himself, _2 o'clock and not a wink of sleep. _He clambered out a bed, and pulled a pair of tracksuit bottoms on and a hoody, and headed downstairs, keen for a nicotine fix.

Being careful to remain quiet as to not wake Paddy, Aaron tiptoed outside and sat on the front step and lit up a cigarette. The effect was instantaneous as Aaron inhaled on his cigarette, but it did not stop his head from spinning with emotions, thoughts and guilt.

Placing his head in his hands, and rubbing his temples, Aaron had his first clear thought in 24 hours…..pulling out his mobile phone, he searched thought his contacts and pressed call…..

"Dave's Taxi's…. how can I help?"

"Hi, can I have a taxi to Smithy Cottage, Emmerdale please? As soon as you can…."

"Sure, where you off to?"

Aaron paused and inhaled deeply…."Hotton General Hospital…."

"Okay" The operator replied, "Be with you in about 10 mate….."

Beep. The phone went dead.

The hospital was spookily quiet at that time of the morning, a few nurses milling around checking patients, but not the same hustle and bustle as during the day.

Aaron smiled weakly at the receptionist as he passed heading for Jackson's room, he knew Jackson would be asleep, but he needed to see him.

Aaron walked into Jackson's room and sat next to his bed…

"Hiya mate… Sorry I ran out on you earlier…." Aaron whispered, not wanting to wake Jackson up…. "but your Dad was right… this is my fault and…and…and"….

Aaron's composure started to crack and tears streamed down his face, "I'm sorry…"

He yearned desperately to reach out and hold Jackson's hand, but he knew it would make no difference… Jackson couldn't feel it anyways…..

So instead, he rested his forehead on the end of the bed, and stared at the floor, sobbing quietly as the seriousness of the situation engulfed him.

"A…Aaron…" Jackson croaked…

Aaron looked up slowly, "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you….."

"Its fine," Jackson smiled softly, "…after all I've been asleep for a week….."

With that Aaron well and truly cracked, and the tears that streamed down Aaron's face showed no sign of letting up….

"Hey….." Jackson queried, "whats the matter?"

"I shouldn't be here…..this…this is my fault, I shouldn't have rang you, I shouldn't have made you stop the van…. I shouldn't have been so scared to tell you how I feel….because I do Jackson… I do love you, more than you'll probably ever know…. But its too late now, look what I've done to you… I promised that after I hit you, I wouldn't hurt you again….and then came Wayne…..and now this…..I can't keep doing this to you…..I love you Jackson, and because of this I will not hurt you anymore….I came to say goodbye….."

"w..w..whatdya mean?" Jackson croaked.

Aaron took a deep breath…"I'm leaving Emmerdale, Cain said a mate of his has got a job going in Carlisle….."

A single tear fell down Jackson's cheek….

A/N – This started as a one-shot but I'm gonna go somewhere with it I think…..

REVIEWS WELCOME AND APPRECIATED!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Chapter two guys... enjoy**

Jackson's eyes followed Aaron as he headed for the door,

"…Aaron…" He pleaded; Aaron stopped, inhaled deeply without turning around, and then continued out the door.

Unable to move, unable to scream out, unable to stop the man he loved walking straight out of his life when he needed him the most, Jackson felt trapped, isolated and lonely.

Jackson closed his eyes tight shut, trying to stem the flow of tears he so desperately wanted to wipe away from his cheeks.

A few minutes later the door opened quietly, Jackson kept his eyes closed for a second praying that it was Aaron returning, but a quiet whisper of "Jackson" made he open his eyes and see his mum walking towards him.

"I just heard….." Hazel said softly, "What happened? Are you okay love?"

"He's going mum…"

"I know darling…" Hazel nodded sympathetically, "is there anything I can do for you?"

Jackson paused for a while, closed his eyes and replied "Get Cain to come see me, I need to talk to him…"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Smithy Cottage, Aaron was busying himself packing up his room. Hearing the commotion from upstairs, Paddy came to see what was going on.

"Aaron, what are you doing?"

"..er… Packing" Aaron replied, drenched in sarcasm.

"Why?"

"Cain got me a job in Carlisle…"

"What? You're not serious? What about Jackson? You know, your boyfriend who until yesterday was fighting for his life on life support?"

Aaron stopped momentarily to regain his composure, "I'm going Paddy, and that's that…."

Paddy stared at Aaron is disbelief.

"You know I really thought you had turned a corner, you stayed at Jackson's side, you brought him his favourite food, you spoke to him, you played his favourite music, you fought of Jerry for crying out loud…..and here you are reverting right back to your old ways, running when the going gets tough….."

"HE CAN'T WALK PADDY! HE CAN'T EVEN FEEL ME HOLD HIS HAND….." Aaron cried, "and…..it's all my fault…."

Paddy shook his head, "No, it's not your fault; Jackson knows it's not your fault…" Paddy paused, unable to think of the right words, comforting words, helpful words.

"…..I love you Aaron, you know that, you are like a son to me, but I think you are making the biggest mistake of your life… and I think you know that too…."

Aaron stared at the floor, shuffling his feet slowly, and shrugged his shoulders, before lifting his hold-all on to his shoulder and walking out the room without a parting glance or a single word.

"AARON….." Paddy shouted, but it was all to no avail…..

* * *

Hazel spotted Cain with his head under the bonnet of a small red Ford Fiesta, and headed towards him.

"Cain… can I have a word?"

Cain looked up, a little bit confused, "Sure…whats up?" He said, wiping his hands on an oil soaked rag, before dropping it on to the bumper of the car.

"Jackson wants you to go see him….."

"Whaaa?" Cain replied, "I'm sorry Hazel, but this is nowt to do with me… it's between Jackson and our Aaron…."

"Please Cain, just five minutes, that's all he is asking for…..:

Cain could see the hurt and worry buried deep in Hazel's eyes, and nodded, "Okay.. I"ll go over after work, but you better make sure our Aaron doesn't know, or all hell with break loose…."

Hazel nodded, "Thank you….."

**A/N – Sorry its short and sweet today, I've been rushed off my feet today…. Ill post again later**

**PLEEEEASEE REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N – Two updates in around 2 hours… :=)**_

_**

* * *

**_

Cain pushed open the door and stepped in to Jackson's hospital room.

"Alright mate? How are you feeling?" Cain asked quietly,

"umm… I've been better…" Jackson smiled sarcastically

"Silly question really…." Cain replied

Cain moved around the bed and sat down on the seat at Jackson's bedside.

"Yer Mam said you wanted to see me…."

"Yeh, thanks for coming….." Jackson croaked, "I need to ask you a favour…. I know he's your nephew, but I can't handle Aaron moving to Carlisle…..any chance you can persuade him to stay….."

"Listen mate…." Cain started, "I know your going through a rough time with it all right now, but Aaron is old enough and ugly enough to make his own decisions….."

"..C..Cain, he's blaming himself, I….I….Even if he doesn't come see me at all, but I…I…." Jackson struggled to find the words, "…Cain, he's tried to kill himself once…I…I…I just want him to stay in Emmerdale, so at least Paddy, Chas, you can keep an eye on him…"

These words seem to hit Cain like a sledge hammer, and his macho façade seemed to slip for a few seconds and he placed his head in his hands and rubbed his temples.

"You are right mate" He said after a few silent minutes, " but I don't know if I can change his mind… I saw Paddy on my way over and he's already packed…."

Tears start to stream down Jackson's face as the hopelessness of the situation began to sink in.

"…Cain…" Jackson pleaded, "…he might have given up on us, but I need to know he's safe…." He added through silently sobbed.

"I'll see what I can do mate…." Cain stood up and headed for the door.

"…Cain….." Jackson whispered, Cain turned around and saw the silent plea deep in Jackson's eyes, and simply nodded and walked out of the room.

* * *

Walking back through the village Cain saw Aaron packing up his car with his suitcases.

"Alright mate?" Cain questioned, "How's Jackson today?" He added, trying not to let on that he had actually just come back from the hospital and that he knew full well the mess Jackson was in, the emotional mess and the physical mess.

"…dunno.." Aaron grumbled back.

"Not going to see him then….?"

"Nope"

"Why not?"

"Do I have to explain myself to you?" Aaron hissed back.

"Chill out mate, I only wanted to know why you weren't going to see your boyfriend in hospital."

"He's not by boyfriend… and it's none of our business…"

"Fine, I was only asking…."

"Well if you don't mind, I've got a lot to do; I'm setting off first thing in the morning…"

Aaron turned on his heel and stormed back through the front door.

"….this is gonna be hard…" Cain sighed to himself.

* * *

Cain spotted Chas walking our of the café.

"Oi Sis…. Wait up…"

Chas turned around to face Cain, "Hey, whats up?"

Cain filled Chas in with the details of his conversation with Jackson, and how Aaron had just been.

"….Jackson's right, Aaron has to stay, but he won't stay if I ask him….. In fact, If I go and speak to him now and ask him to stay, he'll be on the M60 in ten minutes time…" Chas exclaimed.

"…..maybe we don't speak to Aaron, maybe we go around this differently, like I ring Mike in Carlisle and make some excuse up… so he rings Aaron and say the jobs not available anymore?"

"I hope he doesn't find out it was us though….."

"me too Sis…. Me tooo…."

_Ring Ring Ring Ring_

Aaron's phone buzzed on the table,

"Hello….."

"Hi Aaron, it's Mike, from SJS Motors in Carlisle….."

"Hey mate, I was just packing up my car…."

"about that…. I'm sorry, I've got some bad news, unfortunately the job is no longer available, the garage is struggling at the moment, what with the credit crunch and all, and I just can't afford to take someone on at the minute…. I'm sorry mate…."

"…Oh…Ok…." Aaron stuttered, and with a beep the phone was dead.

Back at the Dingle Garage, Cain's phone flashed "One New Message"

_Just got off the phone with Aaron mate, all done, I think he bought it. Hope everything works out soon. Speak soon mate, Mike._

**_PLEEEEASE REVIEW =)_**


	4. Chapter 4

_****_

Filling up the time before my 7pm date with Aarson on ITV tonight…. So my lucky readers, here is the third chapter for the day

_****_

_**BANG BANG BANG**_

Cain and Charity jumped at the loudness of the knock on the door,

"What the bleedin…." Charity jeered

"Sweetheart, I have a feeling who I know who this is… and he's gonna be a happy chap, so you may wanna make yourself scarce…." Cain replied, ushering Charity upstais.

"Oh..Aaron…" Charity whispers, and Cain nods, "Goodluck…" she giggles.

Cain opens the door… "Ah, Aaron, you alright mate? All packed?"

"Don't pretend like you don't know…" Aaron spat back at Cain

"What mate? I don't have a clue what you are on about…" Cain retorted, feigning innocence.

"The job fell through, Mike doesn't want anyone anymore…."

"aaaw, that's not good, looks like you still work for me then….. so I expect you in first thing on Monday morning…." Cain replied

"you wish….." Aaron scoffed in reply, "I'm still looking for a job out of the village, the sooner, the better…."

"you know, maybe this job thing is a blessing in disguise, I mean, now you can still work for your faaavourite uncle, and keep a close eye on how lover boy is doing at the hospital….. I don't know why you wanted to leave in the first place….."

"Shut up….." Aaron replies, before heading out the door, and slamming it shut.

A wry smile appears on Cain's face, and Charity appears sheepishly from the kitchen….

"Your evil…. You know that…." She smiles.

* * *

Hazel walks into Jackson's hospital room and smiles at her son sleeping soundly. She takes a seat next to his bed and waits patiently for him to wake up.

Approximately an hour later, Jackson's eyes flutter open,

"…A..Aaron.." He croaks, pleading to his mother.

"I'm sorry my darling, he's not here, but I spoke to Cain earlier and he's managed to persuade the guy from the garage in Carlisle to tell him that the job is no longer available, so he's staying in Emmerdale, at least for a little bit longer…."

A tear fell down Jackson's cheek, which Hazel gently wiped away.

"I know he cares so much about you my darling, the fact that he was here everyday until you woke up proves that, but he just needs time to process everything, and come to terms with everything… and time to forgive himself…."

"You didn't see him Mum, he's won't step foot into this hospital again…he won't forgive himself…..he can't even look at me…."

"Oh, my baby…what can I do to help? I can't bear seeing you so upset….."

Jackson paused for a minute, "Do you have a pen and paper mam? I need you to write a letter for me….."

* * *

"AARON… DO YOU WANT ANY TEA?" Paddy bellowed up the stairs.

"Not hungry" was the only reply he got, as Aaron scoffed back, half heartedly unpacking his case, and wanting to make it clear he didn't want to talk to Paddy he placed his iPod into his docking station and turned the volume right up.

Meanwhile, downstairs, unbeknown to Aaron, there was a light tap on the door. Paddy went to answer it and it was Hazel.

"Hazel? Is everything alright? Is Jackson okay?"

"He's fine… well still the same, you know…. But he wanted me to give this to Aaron….."

"Umm.. he's upstairs at the minute, but I'll give it to him if you want" Paddy replied, taking the envelope from Hazel.

Hazel smiled softly, "Thanks…." She added, before heading out the door.

Paddy trudged upstairs, only to find Aaron had gone in the shower, so he placed the envelope on the bed and looked around the room. He noticed the pictures that used to be on his desk of Aaron and Jackson, some from Bar West, some from Lanzarote, some from the Woolpack, were all missing.

With a deep sigh, Paddy headed back downstairs to finish tea.

Aaron came out the shower, feeling refreshed and slightly chirpier than before, and headed back into his room. And that's when he noticed it, an envelope simply with 'Aaron' written on the front.

He opened it carefully, and sat on the bed.

_Aaron, _

_I'm sure you know that I can't physically write this letter myself, which is why you might recognise my mum's handwriting. _

_This does not mean that it isn't me saying all of the following._

_Firstly, I do not blame you, in contrast I thank you, because you make my life worth living, you are the reason I am still awake, I may be injured, but I am still alive, and that is down to you._

_I know you blame yourself for all this but I can't stress how much you need to forgive yourself, it was an accident Aaron, please, please remember that._

_Secondly, I want to thank you for standing up to my Dad, I know he's a handful and my mum told me what you said to him and I am very grateful. _

_Finally, I just want to tell you that whatever you decide to do, go, stay, whatever, that I love you, and I need you, now more than ever, but I just want you to be happy. _

_Stay safe, promise me that. _

_All my love, _

_Jackson_

_X_

A single tear fell down Aaron's cheek and on to the bottom of the letter.

_**PLEEEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK… IM NOT SURE HOW THIS IS BEING RECEIVED AND WOULD REALLY LIKE TO KNOW **_

__


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N – Need to take my mind off how sad tonights episode was… so your getting the 4th update today! Count yourself lucky!**_

_**A/N 2 - SLIGHT LINE STEAL FROM TONIGHTS EPISODE…. AGAIN… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**_

Aaron lay down on his bed and curled up into a ball, clutching the letter to his heart. He knew Jackson had not written it, but he could hear Jackson reading the words out in his head. His head was spinning.

_He can't walk, but he doesn't blame me_

_He needs me_

_After everything that has happened over the past year, he still loves me….._

Standing up, Aaron opens his top drawer and pulls out his favourite picture of him and Jackson, taken on the beach in Lanzarote, he stared at the picture for what felt like an age. The only sound was the soft drip of tears falling from Aaron's flushed cheeks on to the glass covering the picture.

"ARGHHH..." Aaron screamed, throwing the picture at a wall, and watched the glass shatter into a hundred pieces on the floor.

Suddenly, it all became too much, and Aaron slumped to the ground, trying to quieten his sobs, and clean up the glass. Through tear-flooded eyes, Aaron struggled to see clearly, resulting in a stray shard of glass slicing the side of his hand.

Warm sticky blood gushed from the wound.

"Bugger…." Aaron sobbed, and headed downstairs with his hand wrapped in an old t-shirt.

While running his hand under the cold water tap, Paddy walks back into the kitchen of Smithy Cottage and sights the blood soaked kitchen towel.

"Aaron….what happened?"

"Cut it on a piece of glass…."

"Let's have a look….. Aaron, you need stitches… come on…"

"no… its fine, it'll stop bleeding…."

"Aaron, I know I'm a vet, not a doctor, but the basics are the same, now get in the car…."

"but….."

"I'm not forcing you to see Jackson…"

"Fine….."

* * *

30 minutes later in Hotten A&E, Aaron was having three stitches applied to the cut on his hand.

Paddy, having noticed that Aaron was constantly glaring in the direction of Jackson's room, piped up "Why don't you just go and say hello?"

Aaron, jumping out of his daydream replied "What?"

"look at you, you've been staring towards intensive care for the last 15 minutes…..just go and see him…."

"I…I…I can't….."

And with the simple reply of "Can't or won't…." Paddy left Aaron to his thoughts.

Ten minutes later, Paddy and Aaron were walking back to Paddy's car.

"Well, your uncle won't be very happy, that you've been signed off work for a week!"

Aaron did not even register that Paddy had even spoke to him, Paddy noticed this…

"oh Aaron, look, there's a green pig over there with red polkadots on it…."

"ummm…. I'll be right back…" Aaron finally said, running back through the hospital doors.

Paddy smiled to himself…._About bloody time…_

Aaron ran through the hospital straight to the intensive care ward, and paused at Jackson's door.

Inhaling deeply, he quietly pushed the door open.

"Hi…" He said weakly.

"….You came?" Jackson cried

Both sets of eyes glistened with tears….

"I think we need to talk…." Aaron said

_**a/n – that's it for today folks… you've had quiet a bit! More tomorrow!**_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N = any one else still depressed after last nights episode…. This story line is gonna end me up in therapy! As usual, it links in with current story line, but my own twist on it thanks for the reviews as well guys! SPOILER ALERT AGAIN FOLKS!**_

_**

* * *

**_

Aaron looked to the ground, unsure what to say.

"Did you get my letter?" Jackson said quietly.

Aaron nodded, and walked to Jackson's bedside before taking a seat.

"Talk about messing with my head….." Aaron chortled, softly.

"Aaron, you have to know that I don't blame you at all…"

Aaron looked at his feet, "…..you should" he simply replied

"but I don't….especially how you've been since the accident, here all the time, fighting off my dad…."

Aaron didn't say anything, but played with a small thread that was sticking out of his jumper.

Jackson's eyes glanced up to Aaron's face and noticed a single tear falling from his big blue eyes.

"….Aaron…." Jackson said quietly, Jackson felt trapped in his own body, unable to reach out and comfort the man he loves, not able to squeeze his hand in reassurance, not able to wipe away his tears.

Unsure about how to handle the situation, Jackson just simply said through his tear filled eyes…."please…..don't leave me…"

Aaron looked up, his eyes glistening, "I thought that's what you wanted though…"

"No…." Jackson cried out, "stay…..".

Aaron stood up and leaned over Jackson's bed, "are you sure?"

"yes…." Jackson cried, "Come here… " he added, and Aaron moved his head closer to Jackson, placing his cheek near Jackson's face in order to hear his whisper.

But no whisper came, instead a small kiss was planted on Aaron's cheek, Aaron smiled to himself before turning to face Jackson and placing a equally romantic kiss on the end of his nose.

"I love you, you know that…." Aaron whispered

Jackson just smiled; glad to have his boyfriend back when he needed him the most.

* * *

"I'm just gonna go find your mam…" Aaron said, giving Jackson a smile before leaving the room and heading to the family room.

Aaron found Hazel, Jerry and Paddy sitting quietly, listening to every word the doctor was saying.

"I know this news has been difficult to digest, but its early days, we'll have to run more tests…."

"…Does that mean he can't move?" Jerry piped up

"Well have to run more tests….."

Aaron, whose presence was unknown until this point piped up… "What is wrong with you? Why can't you answer a simple question…?"

Aaron looked at Paddy, who smiled weakly, understanding that Aaron and Jackson has sorted through their differences.

"We need to wait for the brain injury to subside before we can run more tests….but so far the results show no movement or sensation in Jackson's limbs…."

"So what?" Aaron pipes up.. "he might never walk again…."

"Or he might run a marathon…." Jerry scoffs.

"Have you told him?" Aaron questions

"No, not yet.. " The doctor replies

"Then don't…" Jerry exclaims

"He's not stupid….." Hazel replies

"He needs to know…." Aaron cuts across

"This isn't you decision…."

"Well, I'm not gonna lie to him…."

"Well, stay away….."

"If you knew him at all, you'd know he's big on honesty….."

"He DOESN'T need to know…"

Hazel finally looks at Jerry, "You mean you can't face it…..but he has too, Aaron's right….. we've got to tell him"

* * *

_**A/N – MAJOR Spoiler from last nights episode coming up, if you don't want to see.. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED =)**_

The sound of the door opening awoke both Aaron and Jackson from their blissful daydream. Through the door walked the doctor and Hazel. Aaron stepped to the back of the room as Hazel stepped around the bed to Jackson's bedside

"Jackson, the doctor wants to speak to you….." Hazel whispered.

"Jackson, we had to wait until you regained consciousness before assessing the extent of your injuries….." The doctor said

There was a short pause, until Jackson cried "Am I gonna die…..?"

Hazel fell to pieces and turned around and stood in the corner, Aaron stepped forward placing a quick comforting rub on Hazel's arm.

"No mate… your not" He replied sincerely.

Aaron looked up at the doctor, and pleaded with her… "tell him…."

Jackson however, was the first to speak.

"I can't move….why?"

"Its possible there may be damage to your spinal cord, because of your neck injury…"

"Noooooo" Jackson cries.

A single tear falls down Aaron's cheek, which he wipes away before placing a comforting hand on Jackson's arm….

Jackson looks him in the eye….

"I can't feel ya…"

_**(A/N – this line had me in buckets of tears last night….. so emotional! That's it for now folks….. leave you hanging!)**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N - Sorry about the wait folks... real life took over there fore a while... enjoy the new chap! the bold italics is Aaron dreaming... just to clear up and confusion_**

**disclaimer - i own nothing...aaron and jackson belong to ITV and the emmerdale producers! **

**Thanks for reviews guys... i wuuvvv you all**

* * *

****Aaron curled up on the sofa in the waiting room, hugging a pillow tight to his chest. Hazel comes in and sits at his feet, placing a maternal hand softly on his shin.

"Are you okay love?" She whispers

"hmmhhm" Aaron replies, "we've just told him he may never walk again, you're not exactly going to find me doing cartwheels, are you?"

Hazel nods, "you're right love, but…I need to tell you how very proud I was of you today Aaron….."

Aaron turns to face Hazel and sees the sincerity buried deep in her eyes.

Aaron closes his eyes as a single tear falls from his cheek, "I just want him to be okay…." He whispers.

"He's strong love….." Hazel replies comfortingly, "….and besides, he has you…."

Aaron lets out a small nod, "I'm not going anywhere….."

Hazel smiles to herself as she hears the determination clearly in Aaron's voice.

Aaron closes his eyes as Hazel continues to rub Aaron's left in a comforting manner.

Around 20 minutes later, Bob opened the door to the family room and Hazel placed her index finger over her mouth.

"shh…. He's asleep…. I don't think he's slept much in days…." She whispered, pointing towards Aaron.

Bob nodded sympathetically, and replied quietly… "Fancy a cuppa?"

Hazel nodded, and stood up, and glanced towards Aaron, before heading up to the canteen.

* * *

Meanwhile, Aaron stirred, stretching his legs out for comfort, before turning over and falling back to sleep.

"_**Just a mate is he?" Aaron asked**_

"_**Boyfriend…." Jackson replied, before planting Aaron with a soft kiss.**_

_**They were back in Bar West, Paddy and Marlon were dancing to Black Eyed Peas….if you could call it dancing, Paddy was doing some sort of hip thrust action…..**_

_**Aaron snuggled up to Jackson for a few minutes.**_

"_**Right, I need a fag…" He said to Jackson, before kissing him again quickly**_

_**As he walked out the club, he stopped momentarily and looked back at Jackson smiling with Marlon, and Aaron smiled to himself…..**_

_**Suddenly the scene changed, Aaron was in the Woolpack sat in the corner when Jackson stood up and grabbed Aaron by the arm…. A red mist descended over Aaron's eyes, and before he knew it he had landed an almighty punch on Jackson's face…..**_

_**The scene changed again… this time to the court room. **_

"_**It's not like you said….I hit him… not because he's gay….." Aaron sobbed, before turning around and looking Jackson in the eye…..**_

_**Aaron turned back to the judge, and took a deep breath, "I hit him because I am… I'm gay…."**_

_**Now Aaron found himself at the garage, Wayne stepped over and picked up the wrench, "I don't like you…" He said before squaring up to Aaron…**_

_**Jackson runs over, "wait, wait… if you hit him, you go to prison….."**_

"_**Yeah…. I don't care…." Aaron hissed.**_

_**"well… if I hit him, its just a caution, what with it being a first offence and all…"**_

"_**Seems like we can do a lot of damage…"**_

_**Wayne lunges for Jackson who manages to grab his arm and twists in behind his back, "What ya gonna do now sweetheart?" Jackson teases.**_

"_**Ger'off me you perv…." Wayne retorts, before escaping Jackson's clutches and running away.**_

"_**Cheers…." Aaron says smiling at Jackson.**_

"_**No worries…"**_

_**The scene is now black.**_

"_**Do you wish I never said it?" Jackson questioned**_

"_**Do you wish I said it back?"**_

"_**Course, ideally, but I'd just settle for you being honest…."**_

_**Aaron turned away, and took a deep breath before turning back to face Jackson….**_

"_**You... are the best thing that has ever happened to me… well you and Paddy really… but you….I didn't really know who I was until I met you, well I had a pretty good idea but I hated him….. me I mean"**_

"_**As opposed to Paddy?" Jackson asked**_

"_**See… I told you I was bad at this, I'm scared"**_

"_**Scared of what….?"**_

"_**Losing you…."**_

"_**How can you lose me by telling the truth?...unless you don't love me?"**_

"_**no… I mean, I'm not saying I don't… I'm saying I don't know….I'm not used to people giving a damn about me… and I don't know how to give one back…." Aaron cried**_

_**Jackson walked away**_

"_**see, I've told the truth and now I've lost you….."**_

_**Jackson walked back to Aaron… "You haven't lost me….. I never had you…" Tears streaming down Jackson's face.**_

"_**You've got me….." Aaron said, trying to grab hold of Jackson, who backed away.**_

"_**Jackson… you've got me…." **_

_**Jackson ignored Aaron, and got back into his van before driving off….**_

"_**JACCCKKKKSSOOOONN" Aaron cried.**_

_**But it was all to no avail….**_

_**Aaron grabbed his phone, "Pick up…."**_

_**The scene went completely black, and silent for a few seconds, before a huge crash could be heard…"**_

"_**JACCKSSSSOOOON"**_

Aaron woke up with a start, "JACKSOOOON" he cried out, he's cheeks wet with tears.

Aaron was out of breath, and it took him a few minutes to regain his composure and his bearings.

The door opened and Paddy stepped in.

"Your awake…. Hazel said you'd fallen asleep?"

"umm… I just woke up…." Aaron said groggy

"are you okay? I'm sure I just heard someone shout out….."

"Paddy… how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not having nightmares….."

"okay…." Paddy shrugged.

"right…." Aaron said back… "I'm gonna go see Jackson….."

Aaron stood up and walked passed Paddy, trying to block out the mental images of the awful vision he just had.

* * *

Aaron walked into Jackson's room.

"Hiya mate….."

"hiya…. Are you okay? You look terrible?" Jackson croaked,

"…thanks…." Aaron grumbled

"well…. What is it?"

"Aaron….?"

"I'm just not sleeping very well….." Aaron finally relented

Jackson gazed sympathetically at Aaron…."well why don't you stay here tonight and we can keep each other company?"

"are you sure….?" Aaron replied

"Yup…"

Aaron smiled.

"So… anyway changing the subject, how was it with your Dad?" Aaron questioned

"It was okay, he didn't know what to say…."

"Well its hard…." Aaron said softly

"Its hard for the both of us…..but I'm glad he came… thanks for bringing him…" Jackson added sincerely

"no worries… its all part of the service…" Aaron smiled

"what would I do without you….?" Jackson croaked

Aaron smiled, …"dream about Dermot O'Leary a lot more? Because I'm not here to fill your dreams up instead…."

Jackson laughed, "you know what Mr. Livesy?"

"what…?"

"I think you might be right…. For once….." He laughed

_**PLEEEEEASE REVIEW! I NEED TO KNOW HOW U GUYS ARE FEELING ABOUT THIS FIC !**_


	8. Chapter 8

2nd update of the day folks =)

_**Again - bolt italics = aarons dreams**_

_**

* * *

**_

Aaron and Jackson shared some well needed light-hearted banter for the next hour or so, Aaron very happy with his efforts of keeping Jackson's spirits high, even though deep down he was struggling to keep his own spirits up, and there was a constant niggling in the back of his head over the nightmares he was suffering through every night.

The hospital room started to get dark as the autumnal sun slowly set over Hotten.

"Right you," Aaron started, "do you want some water or 'owt because its getting late….?"

Jackson nodded, "yes please, some water…."

Aaron stood up and leant over Jackson, and held the straw up for Jackson to quench his thirst.

"…that better?" Aaron asked

"thanks…" Jackson said

Jackson smiled up at Aaron, "…..and thanks for being here….."

"Where else would I be?"

"Carlisle…..you had me worried for a while there….."

"…yeh…I'm sorry about that….I….I….I just panicked…" Aaron stuttered, struggling to find the words, his eyes glistened with tears, "that's the last time I let you down, I promise… I'm gonna get you through this, whatever you need….."

Jackson smiled, "right now, I need you to sit down, and stay here with me tonight….."

Aaron smiled, and wiped away his tears.

"you're on…." He added quietly, before leaning down and planting a soft kiss on Jackson's lips.

Aaron moved the chair around so he was sitting parallel to Jackson, and made himself comfortable for the night.

Jackson moved his eyes towards Aaron making himself comfortable, and smiled to himself, before closing his eyes and drifting asleep.

* * *

_**Aaron found himself turning on the radio at Smithy Cottage... "Just say yes... just say there's nothing holding me backk..."**_

"_**We don't have to do anything…" Jackson said quietly leaning into kiss Aaron…**_

"_**I don't do anything I don't wanna do…." Aaron smiled**_

_**Suddenly the pair were cuddled up in Aaron's single bed, Jackson kissed Aaron's forehead.**_

_**With a flash, the scene changed…..**_

_**Aaron found himself in the hospital waiting room,**_

"_**This is all you fault…." Jerry hissed at Aaron**_

"_**no…noo…" Aaron pleaded innocence**_

"_**my son is paralysed and its all YOUR fault…" **_

_**Aaron curled up in the corner sobbing…**_

_**The scene changed to the familiar darkness, the familiar silence…**_

_**CRAAAASSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH**_

"_**JACCCCCCCCCKKKKSSSSSSOOOOOOON"**_

_**

* * *

**_

Aaron woke with a start calling out "JAAAAAACKSOON…."

Aaron panted, placing his head in his hands and leaning over into his own lap.

"..A…A..aron…" Jackson croaked, "are you okay?"

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have stayed, I knew I'd wake you up….you wanted me to stay….I just didn't wanna let you down…."

"..heyy…. tell me whats up…"

"It's nothing….."

"Aaron… has all this not taught you anything, please let me in mate…. I want to help…"

"Its stupid…" Aaron looked ashamed

"Aaron…..please…."

"I'm keep having nightmares…that's why I haven't been sleeping…."

"Every night?" Jackson quizzed

Aaron just nodded.

"what are you seeing?"

Aaron looked down and leaned on the edge of Jackson's bed….

"The van…the crash…the train…." Aaron said quietly, tears welling up.

"Oh… Aaron…." Jackson desperately wanted to reach out to comfort his boyfriend, to hold his hand, to hug him, to let him know that everything this going to be okay….

But he couldn't…..


	9. Chapter 9

**_Just a small one for you now folks, was gonna make it longer, but it didnt feel right, i needed to stop it where i stopped it..._**

**_disclaimer : nothing belonged to me... although it would be nice if either Aaron or Jay did :D, but itv deserves all the credit! _**

****They sat in silence for a few moments, composing their individual thoughts, before Aaron looked up and saw tears falling from the corner of Jackson's eyes. He leaned forward and softly wiped them away with his finger.

"Hey…" He said softly

Jackson sobbed quietly, "I hate this…. I hate not being able to comfort you…."

Aaron stood up, and took a deep breath to help stop his voice from breaking, "I'm fine, it's just a few bad dreams, what you need to worry about is getting better… I don't want you wasting your energy worrying about me…."

Jackson closed his eyes, and the silence returned…

"Jay…"

"….you know, I think I finally understand why you…you… tried to…..kill yourself that day…"

"Jackson….. no, we're not talking about this….." Aaron said, with shock etched all over his face.

Jackson continued, as if he hadn't even heard Aaron, "…you know, its like…..its the only option…"

"JACKSON…. Stop…."

Jackson opened his eyes, finally registering Aaron's protests, and looked up at Aaron whose eyes were glistening.

"Jay…." Aaron whispered, "…..you got hit by a train, and you're alive…..i'm not gonna like you talk like this mate, I can't hear it….."

"Aaaron…" Jackson pleaded quietly,

Aaron shook his head, "every day after the crash, I sat outside this room with Paddy and your mam, hoping you would pull through this, I can't handle you finally coming back to us…..just…..just…" Aaron sturuggled

"I'm sorry….." Jackson said sincerely,

Aaron looked up and saw the pain in his partners eyes,

"Its okay….just promise me… no more…..I'm gonna get us through this…." Aaron stated, placing his hand inside Jackson's hand and placing his other hand over the top.

Shock appeared instantaneously across Jackson's face, it didn't go un-noticed to Aaron.

"Jay….. what is it mate?"

"I….I….I can feel you…" Jackson half smiled, half sobbed.

**_A/N - PLEASSEEE REVIEW!_**

**_because its a small one I will try and get another up today for you folks..._**


	10. Chapter 10

**_2nd up date of the day as promised. Enjoy_**

* * *

Aaron beamed, before lifting up Jackson's hand to his face and kissing the end of his fingers.

"Nurse…Nurse…" Aaron shouted, running for the door.

"Mr Livesy, I didn't realise you were here, it's a bit late isn't it?" The nurse replied, out of slight confusion.

"I stayed…" Aaron said quickly, "But never mind that, Jackson felt me hold his hand….."

The nurse smiled, "this is good news….. I'll call the consultant now…."

Aaron nodded, before heading back into Jackson's room.

Aaron smiled at Jackson, who was scrunching his face up in effort trying to move his fingers…

"Hey.. relax, the consultant is on her way…." Aaron said, placing his hand over Jackson's.

Aaron felt a nudge, and lifted his hand back up, seeing Jackson's index finger flickering slightly.

"haha… show off!" He laughed, elation filling his whole body, not just the fact that Jackson was slowly regaining his feeling, but the look in Jackson's face was priceless, it was almost as if that dark cloud that was hanging over him not 15 minutes before, was slowly clearing and he could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The consultant came through the door approximately five minutes later, "I'll give you a couple of mins" Aaron mumbled, before Jackson replied, "No….stay… please.."

Aaron nodded, but headed for the corner of the room.

"So Mr. Walsh, I hear we've had some progress…" The consultant started

Jackson nodded, before showing the consultant his index finger moving.

"Very good….." She nodded, before running a few more tests.

"Well, all in all, this is very good progress, it would seem that the swelling on your neck is going down, hence the regaining of sensation and movement of your upper extremities. However, Mr. Walsh, I should warn you, just because you've regained the feeling in your arms, doesn't mean that you'll regain your legs, there are no guarantees in medicine, just take one day at a time, but as for now, I am very pleased with your progress….."

Jackson nodded slightly in understanding.

"I'll leave you boys alone now…." The consultant added, smiling at them both, before leaving the room.

"you know what…." Aaron piped up, "I think that's the nicest she's been since you got here…."

Aaron smiled, "I think I should go call your mam…"

Jackson shook his head slightly, "Nah, not yet, she'll be round here in a flash…..I just want it to be us for a while…"

Aaron nodded, pulling up the chair next to Jackson, before taking hold of his hand, and squeezing it slightly.

Jackson smiled, and a single tear fell from his big brown eyes, this time a tear of happiness.

* * *

The next morning, Aaron woke up still holding Jackson's hand and slumped on the edge of the hospital bed. Jackson was still sound asleep, so he gently removed his hand from Jackson's clasp and stood up, stretching, feeling the release as the stiff bones in his body cracked.

He quietly walked out the room, heading for the coffee machine. He looked at the clock behind the reception desk, 6.18am, he pulled out his phone from his pocket, and began to type a message.

_Won't be in until later today Cain, At the hospital, I'll fill you in later, A._

And pressed send, before opening a new blank message page up.

_Paddy, Jackson regained feeling in his hands last night, finally some good news. Are u coming to the hosp at all today? A._

And pressed send. He contemplated sending another important message, but thought better of it, and entered his contacts, and pressing H to quick search.

_Hazel, it's Aaron_

**Hey love, it's a bit early ain't it?"**

_Sorry, I'm at the hospital_

**Is everything alright?**

Aaron smiled to himself, _Yeah, you better come down soon though, got some good news_

**What is it, love?**

_Jackson moved his fingers last night… he felt me hold his hand_

**Oh Aaron, that's brilliant. I'll be down as soon as I get washed and dressed.**

_See you later then._

And with a beep the phone was dead.

Aaron helped himself to a cup of tea from the machine when his phone beeped,

_That's fantastic news, I'll be down later, I'll give Hazel a lift up, Paddy._

Aaron smiled again, feeling more optimistic that he has done for a long time.

**_REVIEWS PLEEASE! _**


	11. Chapter 11

_**This chapter is mainly in court, I've written it now coz I want to get it posted before the actual verdict, and its slightly different…. Ie.. Nathan…. If that makes sense haha… goes a little off Aaron and Jackson… but Aaron is friends with Ryan so I would like to think he went to court…so I'm putting it in….Enjoy**_

_**

* * *

**_

Aaron peered through the window of Jackson's room, and watched his other half sleeping soundly.

"Aaron…." Paddy and Hazel were walking through reception towards Aaron.

"hiya…" Aaron said quietly, "he's still asleep….."

"What did the consultant say…?" Hazel questioned

"just that she was pleased with his progress, but not to get ahead of ourselves…..something about no promises in medicine…."

Hazel nodded, "why don't you get off for a bit…..you look knackered…."

Aaron shook his head, "nah I'm okay…."

"What about work?" Paddy pipes up.

"I text Cain, I'm sure he's going to Ryan's trial today anyways…..I'm not sure he's opening up anyways….."

Paddy nodded.

"Any news on how there getting on in court anyways?" Aaron questioned, worried about his mate.

Paddy shook his head, "I don't know mate, I know Nathan gave his evidence yesterday, and Natasha is on the stand today… but that's all I know…."

Aaron looked down, "I should be there….."

Paddy shook his head, "Faye told him about the accident, He'll understand…"

Aaron suddenly feeling the elated feeling leave him, "I've got a dead dog, I've got one mate being tried for murder and a boyfriend in intensive care…" Aaron shook his head, "someone watch over Adam please…."

'Aaron… don't be silly…" Paddy spoke softly, "Its just a tough time at the minute, things'll get better….."

Aaron remained silent, but simply shook his head.

"I'm gonna go lie down for a bit…" Aaron simply said, heading for the family room.

Paddy went to follow him, but Hazel grabbed his arm… "Leave him… he just needs to get his head straight….."

Paddy nodded, but pulled out his phone.

_Adam, any chance you could get to the hospital today? I think Aaron could do with a chat… don't tell him I asked you though. Paddy._

Hazel shook her head, "you meddle Patrick…..your a meddler…"

Paddy smiled, "I have to do something….."

Hazel smiled, "you're a good man, Paddy…oh look, Jackson's awake…."

Hazel touched Paddy's arm, in a friendly manner before going in to see Jackson.

* * *

Aaron was curled up on the sofa in the family room when Adam popped his head around the door…

"Alright mate.. you awake?"

"hmmph…." Aaron replied, "see your still alive then…."

Adam sat down, "what do you mean mate?"

"Doesn't matter….."

"I thought you'd be doing cartwheels, Jackson's getting his feeling back….."

"In his arms, not the rest of him….."

Adam tapped Aaron's leg…"It's a start mate….."

Aaron shook his head.

"Talk to me mate…."

"It's nothing….. just worried about Jackson… worried about Ryan….."

"I know mate…..but moping around in here, that's helping neither of them…."

"What else can I do?"

"The verdict is tomorrow… how about we go and support Ryan….Jackson won't mind, he knows you and Ryan are mates….."

Aaron nodded, "Yeah…. Okay…. Thank's mate…."

"Anytime….."

Wanting to return the friendship that Adam had given Aaron on many an occasion, Aaron changed the subject….

"How's Holly?"

"….still of her head….. Dad found her off it in the hay barn yesterday, Ithink there gonna try the methodrome programme, nothing seems to be working….."

Aaron could see the worry in his eyes, "I'm sorry mate, if there's anything I can do…."

"Cheers…. Come on, lets go and see Jackson…." He said, placing his hand behind Aaron's back, "….and mate, your doing great….."

"Cheers" Aaron smiled.

Adam and Aaron stayed chatting with Jackson for a good few hours, keeping the conversation fun and light hearted.

"Its Ryan's verdict tomorrow….." Adam pointed out…

"Oh yeah…" Jackson replied, "I wonder how he's doing….."

"Me and Aaron are gonna go…"

"Of course" Jackson said…. "He'll need all the friendly support he can get….."

"Yeah, " Adam nodded, "Right, some of us can't like about all day, I've got cows to see to…. Oh the joys!" Adam rolled his eyes in sarcasm, "I'll see ya soon mate…." He added to Jackson.

Jackson nodded, "cheers mate….."

"I'll see ya tomorrow Aaron, around 11ish yeah… want to get to court in time….."

Aaron nodded, and mouthed "thank you…."

Adam nodded, and winked back at him…. Glad he could help his best mate.

* * *

The next day Aaron walked over to the bus stop to meet Adam to head to court. Adam was already sat at the bus stop when Aaron got there.

"Heya mate….how ya doing?" Adam asked, moving up the bench so Aaron could sit down.

"nervous….last time I was in a court was….."

Adam nodded in understanding, "yeah…. Ryan'll be glad we're there though…"

"Yeah….." Aaron replied, going back to his thoughts.

Aaron and Adam spotted Cain sat in the gallery of the court, and noticed there was two spare seats by him.

"Hi Cain…. How ya doing?"

Cain acknowledged Adam and Aaron with a mere nod, Aaron had never seen his uncle so anxious.

The barrister stood up and faced the jury,

"Have the jury reached a decision in which you are all in agreement?"

The head of the jury stood up, "We have….."

"Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty…..?"

The pause was deafening, Aaron glanced at Ryan who was staring into space, shaking from head to toe.

"….GUILTY"

"WHAAAATTT?" The commotion started, Faye screamed, Maisie burst out crying, Cain stood up in anger.

"Please take the defendant back into custody to await sentencing…."

Ryan was sobbing, "no… please…..i didn't do it…."

"WAAAAIITTTTT!" Nathan stood up screaming, catching the attention of all in the court room, "I can't let this happen…."

"Mr, Wylde, the jury has come to its decision….."

"But it's the wrong one…." Nathan bellowed back, "look…Mum, tell the truth please…." Nathan sobbed, "I can't watch this happen…."

Nathan looked at Natasha, who was visibly shaken.

"I've watched my family be torn apart by this, Maisie won't talk to me, Will knows there's something wrong… Ryan is family….I…I… I can't do this…..It was mum….."

Natasha looked down…..

"Excuse me Nathan… what did you just say?" The judge questioned…

"Mum killed Dad, mum shot him…not Ryan…. Mum did….."

Maisie screamed, "Nathan…. Is this true?"

Nathan nodded, tears streaming down his face….

"Mum?" Maisie pleaded….

Natasha didn't move…

"MUM…. LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME ITS NOT TRUE….."

Natasha looked up… "I can't do that Maisie…."

Maisie slumped back in her seat sobbing as Faye placed a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"Police… take her away…." The judge spat, "Mr. Lamb it seems like your half-brother has a conscious after all…in light of this final development, I am overturning the jury's decision, and you are free to go…."

"YESSS!" Aaron and Cain jumped up.

Ryan smiled, still feeling shocked, and turned towards Nathan who was curled up in the corner of the gallery and simply nodded at him… "thank you…" he mouthed.

Maisie stood up, and walked around to Nathan… "I'm sorry, but you just made me proud…"

**_Back to our boys in the next chap... I promise :) PLEASEEEE REVIEW... luv Alice xx_**


	12. Chapter 12

_**Looks like not much of our boys in next weeks episodes, as nothing in the spoiler! With-drawl symptoms are bound to kick in…..**_

_**as usual - itv owns everything... including my life i think! **_

Aaron, Adam and Cain stared with disbelief at the strange scenes unfolding in the court-room before their very eyes.

"…blinking hell, I didn't see that coming…." Cain said, staring at Nathan

"Me neither, I was convinced it was Nathan all along…" Aaron replied

Adam just nodded, as he watched Natasha being taken away, sobbing quietly and Nathan being comforted by a shell-shocked Maisie.

"Come on… let's get outa here…"

"Want a lift to the hospital kid?" Cain asked

"Yeh… cheers" Aaron replied.

The three of them left the court and headed for Cain's car.

"Well… looks like I can take more time of work now Ryan's back…." Aaron said, smiling properly for the first time in days.

"Don't push your luck kid….." Cain retorted.

"…..how long until Debbie's back?" Aaron giggled under his breath.

And the banter continued all the way to the hospital.

* * *

"So….. go on, tell me how it went?" Jackson croaked when Aaron and Adam entered his room.

Adam and Aaron exchanged glances…

"umm, where do we start?" Adam laughed.

"well…. Ryan was found guilty….." Aaron started

"What?" Hazel and Jackson both replied in unison

"but…. Then Nathan stood up, and had some sort of mental breakdown, and said he couldn't watch an innocent man go to jail, and that it was actually Natasha who did it, who crumbled and admitted it…was like a soap opera if you ask me….."

"blinking hell!" Jackson laughed, "I wish I'd seen it…."

"I always knew Ryan was innocent, I had a feeling about that Natasha…. I said to myself, I said Hazel, that woman's definitely hiding something…" Hazel chirped.

Adam and Aaron laughed, and then Aaron excused himself when his phone started ringing.

"Well mate, I best be getting off, I leave you too it, just wanted to pop in and see how ya were doing" Adam said, tapping Jackson on the hand.

"Cheers mate…" Jackson replied, "and thanks for making Aaron go to court, I knew he'd hate it if he didn't go….."

"No worries mate" Adam replied, "…..if you need anything"

Jackson nodded, "…and you too…except a builder, that might take a while…"

Adam laughed, before bidding goodbye to Hazel and walking out the door.

Jackson looked over at Hazel, "…bet you wish you went to watch all the drama now…."

"oh son, you know me too well…." She replied smiling.

* * *

A few minutes later Aaron walked back into the room, clearly frustrated.

"Mam's back ….." he sighed

Jackson smiled, "does she want to show you all the holiday photo's?"

"umm.. not exactly, she went home to find Carl shacked up with Eve on the sofa…" Aaron replied

"whhaat?" Hazel looked shocked, "bloody hell, its all happening at the minute" she added, clearly talking to herself.

Jackson looked genuinely concerned, "is she alright?"

"I'm not sure, she's heading over to Paddy's, I just think she feels a bit…umm…gullible I guess, I mean she was with Carl, who then got with Del behind her back, so she ended it, only to get with Paddy, and leave Paddy for Carl, only to find herself being let down again…I just don't know how Carl can treat her like that….."

"you know what Aaron? I think that is actually the first time I've ever heard you stick up for you mam…"

Aaron scoffed to himself, "well…. I guess things are in perspective now…."

"…you should go see her…." Jackson replied

"nah, I'll go see her later… besides I ditched you to go see Ryan this morning, you ain't getting rid of me that easy again…." Aaron smiled.

Hazel mumbled something about going to get a cup of tea and left Aaron and Jackson on their own.

"So… how you doing today?" Aaron said, pulling up a chair by the bed side.

"umm.. I'm okay"

"Jay… whats up?" Aaron said, putting his hand on top of Jackson's.

"just fed up, I guess….."

"That's understandable mate, anything I can do?"

"…nah, you're already doing it….." Jackson smiled grimly.

Aaron squeezed Jackson's hand a little tighter.

After a few minutes silence, the consultant came through the door.

"Mr. Walsh, how are we feeling today?"

"fine…." Jackson replied in monotone

"well… I have some good news, the results of your recent test show no brain damage has been suffered, so we are happy to move you out of ICU and into a spinal care unit….."

"that's good…." Aaron said

"yes, its very good considering the circumstances, however, we are going to take you into surgery tomorrow now the swelling has subsided, just to see if we can find out what's going on, and the effects of the injuries and so on…..the surgeon will come see you later tonight…."

"Thanks Dr….." Jackson replied glumly.

"…well at least we know there's nothing wrong with your nugget…" Aaron smiled, trying to lighten the mood…

"yeh…." Jackson replied, Aaron noticed the sparkle in Jackson's eyes, that he loved so much were dull and withdrawn. He took a deep breath, and squeezed Jackson's hand even tighter.

And watched as a single tear fell down Jackson's cheek.

**_AS USUAL - PLEEEEASE REVIEW :)_**


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N – I know very little about spinal injuries etc… so if anything sounds wrong or whatever, pleaseeeee forgive me! I tried my best! oooh and to confuse you a tad, this chapter bold italics is a flash back not Aaron dreaming!**_

_**Disclaimer : I own nothing, ITV does... **_

_**

* * *

**_The next morning Aaron found Jackson asleep in his new room, out of the ICU and into the spinal ward, _This is good, this is progress…. _Aaron thought to himself, well, told himself.

As Aaron watches Jackson sleep soundly, his mind drifted back to the conversation with the surgeon last night…..

_**Surgeon: Mr. Walsh, my name is Dr. Robinson; I am here to talk to you about the surgery we are going to perform.**_

_**Aaron: I'll give you a few minutes**_

_**Jackson: Aaron, no stay….**_

_**Aaron nodded, and sat back down next to Jackson, holding his hand tightly.**_

_**Surgeon: We have to do an exploratory surgery to see the extent of the damage to your neck, and to realign the breaks in your spine. From the x-rays, it shows that the breaks suffered were of your C4 and C5 vertebrae….**_

_**Aaron: [clearly frustrated] Hold on, I'm a mechanic and he's a builder….what the hell does that mean?**_

_**Surgeon: [nodding, and reaching for a poster clearly illustrating the spine] The spine is separated in to three parts, you have 7 cervical vertebrae, 12 thoracic vertebrae and 5 lumbar vertebrae. Therefore, a C4/C5 break would be the 4**__**th**__** and 5**__**th**__** cervical vertebrae, which would be here….[pointing to poster]**_

_**Jackson: So, what does that mean?**_

_**Surgeon: There are no guarantees in medicine, but by ensuring that the two broken vertebrae are healing correctly, it will give us a much clearer outcome…**_

_**Jackson: Tell me this, other people with C4 or whatever breaks, have they walked again?**_

_**Surgeon: Like I said, there are no guarantees in medicine…**_

_**Jackson: ANSWER the question…**_

_**Surgeon: Some have…. And some haven't…..**_

_**Jackson closed his eyes, taking in all the information.**_

_**Surgeon: I'll leave you to it… I'll see you in the morning.**_

_**The surgeon left the room.**_

_**Aaron stood up and leaned over the bed.**_

_**Aaron: Jay…**_

_**Jackson: Leave me alone**_

_**Aaron: No Jay, don't do this… don't push me away**_

_**Jackson: you said it yourself, I'm a builder…and I won't ever walk again…..how does that work out?**_

_**Aaron: Jay, it's not set in stone, its not definite, you could walk again….. [Aaron pauses for a second….] You are the strongest person I know, if anyone can do this, its you…. You put up with me for god's sake….**_

_**Jackson: [quietly] yeah.. and look where that got me….**_

_**The pain in Aaron's eyes was instantaneous, as if he'd be stabbed straight through the heart, this did not go unnoticed by Jackson.**_

_**Jackson: [pleading…] Aaron, I'm sorry I didn't mean that, it just came out… Aaron…..**_

_**Jackson watched as a tear fell down Aaron's cheek**_

_**Jackson: …Aaron… I'm sorry; I really didn't mean it….**_

_**Aaron: I think I'm gonna go…..**_

_**Aaron was clearly upset and headed for the door**_

_**Jackson: I'm sorry Aaron… please….I….I….**_

_**Jackson heard the door click shut, and suddenly the only noise that could be heard was the beeping of his heart rate monitor, and his quiet uncontrolled sobs.**_

Aaron snapped back into reality, took a deep breath and opened the room door.

He remained quiet, as to not wake up Jackson and took a seat next to the bed.

Around five minutes later, Hazel walked into the room.

"hiya love," She whispered

Aaron nodded in acknowledgement.

"what happened last night? I popped in to ask what the surgeon had said, and Jackson had a face like a wet weekend…."

"….it's nothing….." Aaron mumbled

"yeah… well how come you've got exactly the same face on now…."

"…..stuff got said…."

"like what?"

"Jackson blurted out something….."

"not I love you again… because we've already been here…."

Aaron shook his head, "nope… try 'I blame you'…."

"noooooo" Hazel looked shocked, "that's ridiculous, he doesn't blame you… he didn't say that…"

"…in as many words…anyways, I'm gonna go before he wakes up, I just wanted to see him before he went in to surgery….."

"Aaron….stay love…."

Aaron shook his head…. "Tell him I'm thinking of him….."

Hazel shook her head this time, "nope… you tell him….."

Aaron sighed, "Hazel, the guy I love blames be for the possibility that he might never walk again…..I can't just sit there and pretend it was never said…..I've been carrying this lead weight around with me since the accident, but put up with it because Jackson continually said he didn't blame me…but…"

"I don't blame you…" Jackson croaked, "and you are not leaving this room until we talk….."

"Jackson, I thought you were asleep…." Hazel questioned

Jackson shook his head slightly, "Nope… I heard every word…..now Aaron sit….."

"….Jay…."

"SIT!"

Hazel giggled to herself at Jackson's sternness, "Umm.. I going for a cuppa, ummmm is that okay?"

Jackson smiled, "yeah, that's fine…"

Hazel excused herself rather quickly.

"Aaron… I don't blame you, I'm sorry I blurted that out, I wasn't thinking straight, I was in a bad mood and I'm getting down about it all, but its not you, I promise. You've been amazing these last few days, bringing my dad to see me, taking care of my mam…making me smile, please believe me…."

Before Aaron could answer, the door swung open….

"Mr. Walsh, time to prep you for surgery…."

**PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASSE REVIEW! **


	14. Chapter 14

_Tick Tock Tick Tock_

Aaron was curled up in the family room, lying on the couch, hugging a pillow close to his chest, staring at the clock. _One hour...two hours...three hours..._

Unlike Aaron, Hazel couldn't keep herself still and found herself moving around, fidgeting, buying unnecessary cups of tea, popping out to use the phone, she was making Aaron dizzy with her constant faffing, but Aaron knew it was just her coping mechanism.

Aaron's mind drifted back to when the doctor came to prep Jackson for surgery

FLASHBACK

_**Doctor : "Mr Walsh, time to prep you for surgery, [turning to Aaron], I'm sorry, you'll have to wait in the family room from now..."**_

_**Aaron just nodded and headed for the room.**_

_**Jackson: Wait...Aaron come here a minute...**_

_**Aaron: [taking a deep breath, and returning to Jackson's bedside], what?**_

_**Jackson: [looking deep into Aaron's eyes], promise me something? Promise me you'll be here when I come back, I need you to be here...**_

_**Aaron : [smiling slightly] Where else am I gonna be?**_

_**Jackson smiled, and Aaron squeezed his hand tightly, the look in Jackson's face everytime Aaron touched his hand made Aaron's heart warm, after not being able to feel him for so long. **_

_**Aaron: I better go**_

_**Aaron headed for the door, **_

_**Jackson: Aaron, [Aaron turns back to Jackson], I love you...**_

_**Aaron: [smiling], yeah yeah... i love you too, ya stupid git!**_

_**Aaron watched from the window as the nurse and doctor faffed around Jackson preparing him for surgery, and Aaron was particularly drawn to the goofy smile that had not left Jackson's face the entire time he was being prepped.**_

END FLASHBACK

Exactly three hours and 26 minutes after Jackson went in to surgery, the surgeon entered the family room.

Aaron's head snapped up, and Hazel spun around fast.

"He's okay... he's in recovery, the surgery went well..." The surgeon said

Aaron exhaled loudly, full of relief.

"...and the extent of his injuries?" Hazel questioned

"Time will tell, the break isn't as bad as we first thought, but as with any form of neck break, it must be taken one day at a time..." Hazel nodded, but Aaron wasn't really listening.

"Can I see him?" Aaron piped up

"not yet, he's still not awake, I'll come and get you when we've moved him back to the spinal unit, shouldn't be too long..."

Aaron nodded, and curled back up on the sofa with the pillow as his only comfort.

Around 40 minutes later, the nurse came to the family room, saying it was okay to go and see Jackson now.

Aaron didn't move, thinking Hazel would go see him first.

But instead she remained seated and looked at Aaron, "Go on then..." She said, jerking her head slightly towards the door.

Aaron quietly opened the door to Jackson's room, there was a nurse rearranging Jackson's bed sheets and generally checking that Jackson was comfortable. Aaron stood by the door until she was finished, she smiled at him in a friendly manner as she left them to it.

"hi..." Aaron said quietly

"you stayed?" Jackson croaked

"Course I did you muppet, where else do you think I would be?"

Aaron pulled up a chair next to Jackson's bed.

"how you feeling mate?"

"Umm... okay..."

Aaron put his hand into Jackson's hand, and squeezed. Jackson squeezed back.

"...Aaron... I am really sorry about yesterday..."

"shh..you are supposed to be in recovery, and don't worry about it, don't worry about me, it's only natural for you to lash out, you've put up with me doing it enough..."

"Yeah...but this is different..."

"Jackson, no its not, listen to me please..." Aaron looked deep into Jackson's eyes, "I feel guilty, and I will probably always feel guilty, watching you lying here, and knowing that if I had acted differently that day, if I'd only told you how I really fel..."

"...Aaron..." Jackson tried to cut across Aaron...

"let me finish...if I hadn't have gone after Mickey, or even had that bleeding cigarette...then you would not be here right now...you only told me what I already know...but I'm not going anywhere... I said I was gonna get you through this...and I am..."

Tears were streaming down both of their faces,

"Aaron...I don't want you to be here because you feel guilty..."

"Jay...you know me... better than anyone else... better than myself probably... I wouldn't be here if I felt guilty... I would have ran a mile by now...Carlisle remember... I'm here INSPITE of feeling guilty.. I'm here because I love you, and I can't bare being away from you..."

Jackson looked up, "Aaron...you're 18...I'm a 23 year old builder that probably won't walk again...I love you too much to watch you waste your life on me..."

"Jackson, SHUT UP! Save your breath, I ain't going anywhere...you're stuck with me..."

After a small silence... Aaron started giggling softly..

"What...?" Jackson scoffed.

"You haven't realised what's just happened, have you?"

"no...what?"

"well... you were originally telling me not go anywhere after what was said yesterday, and I was adamant about going...and now you're telling me to go coz you don't wanna ruin my life, and I'm adamant to stay..."

Jackson laughed and sobbed at the same time...

"Quite a pair we are..."

"Quite..." Jackson added.

There was another silence...this time longer.

Aaron sat back down on the chair, and started stroking the top of Jackson's forehead...

"I love you..." He said quietly, "I'm not going anywhere..."

Jackson smiled, "you've never listened to a word i've said before..."

"Exactly...finally we have an understanding" Aaron laughed back.

Aaron stood up and placed a loving kiss on Jackson's lips, Aaron pulled back slightly, leaving a gap of only a few inches, the boys looked lovingly into each other's eyes.

"oh...Aaron... I love you too..." Jackson whispered, before Aaron kissed him again.

"right... that's settled then... no more depressing conversations..." Aaron smiled, putting on a mock stern voice.

A few minutes later, Hazel nodded on the door,

"Is it safe to come in boys?" She said, with a hint of Hazel-esque sarcasm.

Aaron nodded, "I'm gonna go home now for a bit anyways, check up on Ryan, see if my mam's okay..."

"How's she coping since the whole thing with Carl?"

Aaron shook his head, "Not well...Paddy said she's not sleeping well..."

"Poor lass..." Hazel said genuinely.

"Right, I'll leave you too it, I'll be back later tonight..." Aaron said, before giving Jackson a quick kiss.

As Aaron walked out the door, Hazel turned to Jackson, "are you boys going to be okay?"

Jackson looked at his mum, and simply replied, "you know what... I really think we are..."


End file.
